In death
by DeExil
Summary: I am the one left to walk the lands of this apocalyptic world. I am the one left to see everyone die and leave...I am neither alive, nor dead. -oneshot-


**To my Naruto fiction readers: Do not worry, I am still writing my Naruto fictions until the moment a) Naruto as a manga dies in my eyes or b) I have exhausted everything I can write about it (in other words I can't morph it into anything anymore)**

**To whom it may concern: This is a one-shot to test my ability in writing something that's beyond a "set table". In other fictions I already had a history, character names, backgrounds and so on. I want to see how I would do if I were to start my own little book, manga, etc. This one-shot is for that purpose, I hope you will enjoy it.**

**Note: It may not be my normal work, but please read it. Reason is at the end. Also...I never stated anything and left everything anonymous. Also, the story is not about plot, more about the style...the real story I will write is not based on this, not at all. This is just a one-shot  
**

**In death**

**By DeExil**

Why am I here? What is my purpose in this desolate land? I've been walking through these ruined cities for days and yet I still don't understand it. Where have I done wrong? What have I done wrong? Do I really deserve such a punishment? Even hell would have been better then this.

I look at my hand and all I see is my bones, I looked at myself in the polluted water and all I see is bones. I am not alive, but neither am I dead. I am something that a mortal could describe as a higher being or perhaps an abomination if they could see me. I pass by their camps, I pass by their bases and they do not see me. I pass by the soldiers and the tanks, I pass by the dogs and they cannot smell me.

The graveyard is the place I always return to, lost in memories, lost in this desolate world without a clear reason. When I was taken they told me that my goal is to gather those that have perished, send them where they belong. But why was I picked to do this job? Why have I not been sent in heaven or hell? Why must I be the one stuck between the two?

I am no mortal, I've lost my mortality long ago, what I am now is what you could describe as a living dead. And yet I am not as well. My mind, if I still have one, is confused, why do I still think if I am no longer alive? Is there a reason for me to even think in the first place? All that I've done was do their bidding, but in the end my mind still seeks answers to a question that cannot be answered.

I have no need for sleep; I have no need for food or water. I cannot eat and I cannot drink. No more can I do those simple things, and yet I long for them just as much as I long for my life. No…I don't, I have no heart, I've lost that, it cannot dictate me anymore.

My emotions are gone and all that is left is a walking dead. A corpse cursed to roam the lands of his former homeland, forced to pluck the dead from their hiding spot and send them to their rightful place. Forced to watch those that I once held dear die in front of me and do nothing to stop it, forced to watch them leave this land and realizing that I cannot follow them where they are going.

I stand and watch the streets that lead to my college, the place where I studied; there is nothing but a crater there. Not even a sign that there used to be a building there, everything is gone. You can barely recognize the street itself, man is cruel after all and their emotions are easy to be toyed with. Tell them something they don't like and they might snap. Their minds are fragile, just like a newborn. Tell them what they want to hear and their docile like dogs, tell them what they don't want to hear and they bite…hard.

Walking through the crater memories of my past invade my mind, faces of the friends I once had pass by my eyes. I stop in the crater and look around; I can see their shadows walking around without a care in the world. I can see myself in the hallway of our prestigious college; I can see people going to their respectful place. I see myself walking down the hallway and laughing, I pass through myself and I realize it…it's all my imagination.

All of it vanishes and the crater is there once more, I look down, I feel nothing. I should feel something and yet all I know is the nothingness similar to that which is around me. Maybe this is sort of like hell, its painful as people once imagined it, the only difference is that I am free to roam wherever I desire but even then I still feel the same nothingness.

As the hollow wind blows around me I start walking once more, there is nothing here for me. And yet as I start moving away I see something that interests me. Just some books and papers littered on the ground, they must have been throw out in the explosion. The wind gently picks the papers up and blows them away; I watch as they lift towards the sky and raise my hand towards the darkened sky. Beyond those clouds is where I want to be…not in space, but in heaven. I long for it.

I stay and watch the sky, for minutes…or was it hours? There is no need to know the time, not when you are dead. I look at the ground once more and pick up a book, sitting on a rock I open it and start reading. At least I can still do that…it passes the time when you wait for another to die. Placing my scythe on my shoulder I move my left leg above my right and wait. Sooner or later I will know when a soul is around, I don't know how I feel it, I just do. Maybe it comes with my "job".

I hear the unmistakable sounds of the tanks and the footsteps of the soldiers, I don't care. They can't see me. And yet I hear one screaming, then I remember, I'm holding a book in my hands and I'm turning the pages of said book. To me it's nothing out of the ordinary, but to them…well…all they see is a floating book whose pages turn by themselves. I've scared quite the handful, even accidentally killed one; had a heart attack when he saw the rocks throwing themselves in a nearby puddle.

They start screaming profanities and then stuff like the enemy is trying to trick them; I hear the tank aiming towards me and then its shell moving out of the barrel. The explosion echoes through the barren lands as I lower my hand, the book was destroyed and so was the rock I was sitting on. I'm left floating in the air. I look towards the platoon of soldiers that try to figure out what happened with the enemy…

It would be hard to believe that I was once like them, when I was alive I was afraid of the unknown, willing to do anything to make it go away instead of trying to understand it. Maybe that's what makes them human…

I descend on the ground and start walking away; there is nothing left for me here. With that one shell they managed to destroy the last reminder of the college that once stood here. A pity, it used to be an interesting place. Or at least that is what the memories I have tell me, but there is no time for me to think about that.

As I look in front of me I see a wondering spirit, yet the dark aura around it suggests it's in conflict. Denying its death. As I move closer to it, the spirit stops moving and looks towards me, its eyes widens. Anyone would be shocked if they were to see the Grim Reaper in front of them. A black robe with a black hood over his head, all you could see would be its skull and then its scythe which was always present in his hands.

"_Come with me."_ I demand from him in a hollow voice; since I am but bones I have no voice. I can't produce emotions and neither can I sound … like a pleasant person. But as a reaper, joy is the last thing on my agenda.

"No!" he shouts at me moving back. "I'm not dead, this did not just happen! My wife and child, their waiting for me to wake up! Get away!" futile attempts to prolong his futile existence, there is nothing for him here, that is if he enjoys the barren lands and seeing people die left and right then this is the place for him.

"_Don't oppose it…I'm taking you to a better place." _I reply to him in the same hollow voice and yet the spirit does not wish to hear it.

He raises his hands to his ears and shouts out that he is dreaming, that it's not true and more of the such. I approach him and he looks at me. "Stay back!" he screams as chunks of rocks are lifted in the air and thrown towards me. I keep moving towards him, not minding the rocks and yet, they stop in front of me, falling harmlessly on the ground. This is how poltergeists come to exist, if a lazy reaper leaves them on Earth for far too long.

"_Useless"_ I say once more as the spirit curls in a corner. I grab it by the collar and lift it up in the air. It looks at me with frightened eyes. _"Hmm…heaven it seems."_ I say to myself as a light descends upon the spirit lifting it in the air and then vanishing in a matter of seconds. I turn around and leave the place, my job here is done. I'm left to wonder these lands once more.

**xXx**

Solid objects are no longer an obstacle for me, when I was still alive I dreamed of being able to move in a straight path without having to take detours. I dreamed of being able to walk through solid objects or float above ravines. Now, in death, I can do what I desired and yet it doesn't feel that pleasing anymore. It was different the first time I tried it, then the second, third and so on…but like I said, it didn't feel that pleasing after a while; it had lost its touch.

As I walk through the ruins of several houses the memories of the deceased appear in front of me. Another reason why I consider this my own personal hell, I think I've almost lost my mind the first few days in this job. Seeing people you never knew appear in front of you, seeing their lives in short and then how they die. It was a bit depressing, if I can put it like that…my mind tells me I would have felt sad for them, yet I felt nothing.

I see a woman in her late forties and a girl, sixteen…or seventeen? I'm not sure; I was never good at guessing the age of a woman, if my memory is right I got in some trouble because of that. I watch as the two hold each other in a corner of the kitchen, my head moves by itself as I look down at a gun, a desert eagle if I remember right. I look up and then around the corner, two soldiers are scouting the hallway. I must be viewing the memories of a man.

I suddenly move away from the corner and raise the gun, I fire once killing a soldier as the bullet moves through his skull, his partner jumps away at the last second. I move back in my hiding spot and move the gun out and start firing where the soldier should be. I hear the click indicating the clip is empty. I take the clip out and throw it away, just as I am about to replace it my world goes dark and I find my real body floating in the air. The man is dead, his throat cut.

I look in the kitchen at the two women who yell in fright, the soldier wastes no time in raising his gun and emptying his magazine in their skulls. The world dissolves and I find myself in the ruins once more, the skeletons of the two women are in front of me. I shake my head and walk away, if I still had said emotions I would have felt sorry for the way they died.

The wind suddenly blows and I stop moving. I look around and nod to myself, I felt a spirit, or more likely one that is about to be set out of its earthly body. Succumbing in the ground I arrive in some sewers, I can hear some muffled cries not far from where I am. I walk towards the sound and finally through a large steel door. I look with a passive face at what is in front of me, two soldiers having "fun" with a woman.

I float above the ground and sit on a damaged pipe, toxic water was spilling from the pipe. I stand and watch without a care in the world, waiting for the soul to leave the body, my senses are never wrong. As I stand and watch a thought passes through my mind. If I were alive, would I have tried to save her? Looking at her face and her tears I don't know what I would do if I was alive.

"~Brave team, respond!~" I hear a voice, if I am right its from the com. near the wall.

"Ugh…" one of the soldier moves away from the woman and picks up the receiver. "This is unit 2, over."

"~Where the fuck are you?~" the man seemed pissed and judging from the reaction the soldiers had it must have been an officer. "~You'd better not be harassing people, or this time I will kill you~" the man threatened as the woman tried to scream only to have the other soldier grab her and hold her mouth.

"No sir, its nothing like that sir…we were just patrolling the area, over." He replied, I shook my head as I gripped my scythe, I can already see where he would be going. He and his partner. A grin appears on my face, or the best I can make using only the bones. I will have fun when I send them to their rightful place.

"~Get your asses back to base, where being stationed in another area!~" the man said as the link closed and the soldier sighed.

"That was close." He told his partner who let go of the woman, she was now silent and looking towards me with hollow eyes, it was like she knew I was there. It's said that moments before your death you can see the reaper near you, waiting to take your soul. If that was true and she was indeed seeing me, then she might have been happy if I am right. Others would have been struggling, or looking afraid, but she seemed rather calm, like she was embracing death.

"What do we do with her?" one of the two asked as he pointed towards the woman, his partner scoffed as he took out his gun.

"It would be a problem if someone found her and she squeeled." He said as he shot her in the head, ending her life.

I watch as the two grin and leave the place, locking the door behind them and leaving the body to the rats and insects. I look at the soul of the recently deceased, she was hovering above her body and crying silently. I jump down from my spot, she looks towards me but shows no fear. So what they say must be true, or she was ready to die in the first place and accepted her fate.

I extend my hand towards her and try, I muster all my strength, to sound not so terrifying. _"Come…"_ and yet my voice was hollow as ever. I always had a soft spot for women, it seemed like even in death that never changed. I loved them when I was alive, loved being near them, for what reason? I don't know. I do know I was not looking for what others were looking, I wanted more and more friends and women seemed more … mature and reliable then your everyday male.

I'm shaken out of my thoughts as the woman slowly approaches me, spirits learn fast how to float in the air and then walk on the ground or through solid objects. How they learn so fast? I don't know and most certainly never will. "Where will you take me?" she asks.

I've had many souls that asked me the same question, 'where will you take me?' is what they would ask me. My answer would always be the same. _"Where you rightfully belong."_ Of course some would never be satisfied with that and they would either beg me for the answer or just demand it. Souls are very unstable and very unpredictable, but as a older reaper once told me, depending on the character the souls had when they were alive, that character would reflect in death as well.

That brought a question to my mind back then, would that character reflect in me as well? Of course the elder didn't tell me, but I learned for myself. It doesn't happen. It seems like Grim Reapers are different from normal souls, different yet the same. We are in constant conflict with our memories, fighting to understand if what we relieve is real or false, if what we see if ours or not.

Many reapers had gone insane…after a thousand years of collecting souls one would lose their minds, even if they don't have them in the first place. Those that would have this happen to them would be picked by the Angel of Death himself and taken away…to where no one knows exactly and no one is keen on finding out either.

"Will…will I be able to see my family?" she asked with hope in her eyes as she brought her hands in front of her, in a fist like she would be praying.

Not many asked me that question before, most of them would start pleading me to tell them what they want to know while others would start demanding from me. Even in death I have a short temper, those that demanded usually found themselves grabbed by their collar and sent to wherever they belong without a question.

"_I do not know…"_ I replied to her as I took a step forward and placed my hand on her head, I had changed my face and hand so that it would look like I have skin and flesh. The look of shock in her eyes as she saw my face was something, who would have thought a Grim Reaper would be this young? Yet, even if I can change my looks, I still do not have any real flesh or skin, I cannot smile nor make any other type of facial expression.

"_You will be able to see your loved ones once more."_ I tell her as I take a step back, light entangles her as she is suddenly lifted in the air. She looks down at me with a happy smile and does what I least expect it.

"Thank you…" she tells me before vanishing, leaving me there rooted in mild shock. Very few thanks did I receive as a reaper, most would leave without even looking back, others would glance at me one last time yet say nothing and finally, some would kick and scream profanities at me. We all know where they were going.

Yet, few were the ones that thanked me, it made my afterlife a bit more pleasant, a bit more … fun and rewarding. I've seen many die and sent equally many in their rightful place, I've sent friends, family and many more. Those that knew me got to see my face, the face I had when I was still alive, they were the ones that thanked me, my friends, my family. Few strangers thanked me, very few.

I turned and started leaving but just as I was about to leave through the steel door I look back once more at her earthly remains. Rats were already moving to the body, yet I feel nothing. I would have moved her, yet every action has a consequence, her soul is not stained and that is what matters to me as a reaper. I leave, glancing one last time at her dead body.

**xXx**

I stand on top of the remains of a once beautiful statue from my homeland, a statue representing a hero of our people that fought to unite us all into one banner. The banner of my homeland. Yet, almost nothing remains of it, after all the battles and all the bombing, there was almost nothing left of it. A pity, when I was young I used to come here and play with a girl if my memory serves right. And if it's right then I fell for her years later.

I look up at the ruins of a once great cathedral, took years to build it and now there was nothing left of it. In the past it served as a holy place, now it served as an outpost for the army. I've come here not because of my memories, but because of the souls that gather here. Most of the times the souls of the wandering dead travel to this location; their memories must bring them here. I would be the one to come and take them away, one by one. Some willingly, some not.

But now, I was here for something else. Shells explode in the walls of the cathedral and bullets fly in and out. The soldiers are fighting once more, the two great nations are clashing for the same spot yet again. Soldiers die left and right, some would have their life prolonged a little more as their field medics would bring them back into their bodies, some would be the unlucky ones that would run from one comrade to another shouting in fear and asking what is going on.

Just like in the case of the recently deceased soldier, a young man, from the way he reacted when the enemy attacked I would say he had just enrolled. Such a shame he died on his first day. He runs from a squad member to another, panicking and shouting, asking what is happening, why he can't pick up a weapon, why they can't hear him and why bullets faze through him. He panics as he runs through a wall, he falls on the ground and curls in a ball, he starts crying and trembling, brings his hands up to his head and starts mumbling words like 'I'm dreaming', 'It's a nightmare'.

I vanish from my spot and appear behind the soldier startling him, he looks at me with fear in his eyes. All souls can sense me when I come, it is strange that they can feel me, but maybe that way they know that they don't have much time left on earth.

"Who are you?" he sutters as he backs away in a corner, a shell explodes behind him destroying the piece of wall and making him scream in fright thinking he was just blown to pieces, only to scream again when he realizes he is still 'alive' and untouched.

"_Come…"_ I say to him like I say to every soul I meet, I let them come to me, it's a sign that lets me come to understand that they have come to terms with the fact that they are dead. Yet this one just backs away, makes my work harder.

I start walking towards him as he keeps backing away in fear. "Hold it right there!" I hear someone scream and stop dead in my tracks. The soul looks beyond me and his eyes widen.

"Butch?" he asks. I turn and see a second soul, fire burns in his eyes, I know these types of souls.

"I don't know who you are bud, but you aren't taking anyone!" he shouted as he charged at me to attack me. As his fist moved towards my face I moved my hand up and grabbed his, he grit his teeth as he tried to kick me. Tried is the key word as I twisted his hand and made him believe the pain is real, he crumbled on the ground shouting in pain, he believes the pain is real.

I place my hand on his head. _"The fire burns."_ I state as I take my hand away and raise my scythe. The man, Butch, looks at me as I plunge my scythe into his body, he screams in pain as fire erupts around him and chains sprout from the ground and entangle him. He screams as he is slowly pulled into the underworld.

As he vanishes and the screams die down I turn towards the first soul, he looks at me and yells in fright as he jumps on his feet and starts running away. I turn towards him and start walking, no matter how much he runs, I will get him, I always get them.

He run through ruins, behind alleys, through a canal, but at each turn he finds me. I grow tired of this cat and mouse game, its not even fun to play. I find him no matter where he is. I appear in front of him once more and grab him by the collar, he looks at me with fear in his eyes. _"Hmm…heaven, you are lucky."_ I said as a light appears around him and he vanishes in a matter of seconds.

I turn around and start walking back to the cathedral. Heaven and Hell work in strange ways, kill someone and it's a sin, that's what they say and it really does apply. In war, the soldiers are most likely to go down then up…but if their good deeds are still more then their bad ones then it shows they can enter heaven. That young one, he hadn't killed yet, he was clean. He probably joined the war to impress the girl he loves, a pity he died and will leave her mourning over his death…her and his family.

**xXx**

I look at the house in front of me, half of it destroyed, in ruins; the other half, barely standing up after five years. I walk through the destroyed fence and pass a dog's house, or what was left of it. I look down at the animals bones and memories appear in front of my eyes again. I loved my dog when he was alive, he was indeed man's best friend. I turn around and head into the house, I touch the scorched wall, everything my grandfather had build was now in ruins…a pity.

Slowly, I walk up the stairs as memories invade my mind once more. I hear I child laughing, I hear two in fact. They run past me and into the house. My cousins, or they used to be when they were alive. Maybe they were someone else's now, some souls are reborn faster then others, depending on how young they died. I walk through the door, it was ripped in half, and arrive in the hallway.

I walk to the living room and find most of it damaged, more damaged then the first time I came here. When I first returned to this place the damage done was from the attack, my house had two floors, the bottom and the top. Not including the roof though. So that would have been three floors, but that is getting me nowhere. In time, during the war, people came and ransacked the place.

If I were alive, I would have cried, money that me and my parents worked for was being wasted. People killed themselves in this house for their prizes, I never left their bodies to rot here. No matter what consequences I would have faced, this was my domain and I didn't want others in here to rot.

I look towards another set of stairs and start walking up. Memories appear in front of me once more. I see her, the girl I loved running up the stairs only stopping half way to look towards me and giggle, she calls out my name and tells me to hurry. My past self runs up after her with a smile on his face. The memory ends as I reach the top floor, the place where me and my brother had our rooms.

I don't care what is in the room, though there is only rubble. I walk to my room, a year after my death I decided to clear the debris in my room, I wanted for me and her to have our final resting place be more … decent, more open. She always wanted to sleep under the stars, she now had her wished fulfilled.

"_I'm home."_ I say as I sit on my knees in front of a bed, two skeletons present on the bed. My memories had driven me a bit insane when returning back home, maybe this is why most Reapers didn't operate in the place they died, or the country they belonged to. They didn't want to go insane. But I wanted to stay here, this was and always will be my home.

I move my hand over a skeleton, her remains. Who would have thought that my first lover would be my last? We both died in the same day, at least we had a quick and peaceful death. The bombs dropped on us as we were sleeping, holding her in my arms. At least she felt no pain, that's what mattered and that's what will always matter to me. The look in her eyes when she learned I would not be joining her in heaven still plagues my memories to this day, she never learned where I would go, she assumed the worst.

Standing up I walk out of the room and down the stairs, I exit the house through the front door and look at the gate. A woman was beyond it shouting, calling to see if anyone was home. I recognize her. She looks at me as I start walking towards her.

"Who are you?" she demands taking a step back "Why are you in my house?" she asks again. "Answer me now or I will call the cops!" she shouted as I kept walking towards her with my scythe in my hands. She was living in the past, maybe she died a long time ago and in the end her memories brought her back here, the placed she cherished.

I vanish and appear in front of her, startling her. _"Do not be afraid."_ I tell her _"I'm not going to hurt you…just send you to where you rightfully belong."_

Her eyes locked on to mine as she took a step back in fright, she must have 'come back' and realized who…or better yet, what I was. "No…" she whimpers. "I'm not leaving without my sons! Not without my husband!" she cries out as I raise my head and let her see my face.

"_Brother is alright mother, so is father, they are waiting for you up there. So are your parents."_ I tell her as she shakily moves her hand towards my.

"Son?" she asks trembling, I never did enjoy hurting my mother, I didn't have a choice right about now. It was not my fault she died, or that I died…but maybe it was my fault that I am a grim reaper.

I take her hand and look at her. _"Heaven awaits you."_

"No…" she says again, she was always stubborn. "I'm not leaving without you." She cries.

"_I'm afraid I have no choice in that matter, I am bound to this work for an undetermined time. Why was I bound to this? I do not know."_ I see light appear around her as she tries to hold on to me and not vanish without me _"Tell everyone I said 'hi' and let them know I'm alright, they must think I am in Hell…"_ I tell her as she's suddenly lifted in the air. _"And tell her…that I love her…and I will always love her. Hopefully, we will meet again."_ I finish as she nods with a sad smile and tells me she loves me before vanishing.

If there was one thing I was certain ever since I died five years ago, then it was the fact that I always loved my girlfriend and that I will always do. Surely they won't keep me here for long, surely they will let me see her again and surely…she will always wait for me like I will always wait for her.

I couldn't tell her, my mother, my father, or any of my family and friends that the reason I am stuck here is because my sins and good deeds balanced each other out. I had done enough sins as good deeds. Those with such a balance cannot go to hell or heaven, so they become Grim Reapers until the moment a sin is abolished. But most of the times, we are forgotten and our sins abolished only after millennia of work…such a harsh work.

**xXx**

"_To be, or not to be. Dat is da question…"_ I say while looking at a skull in my hand. I had just finished sending the souls of the battlefield to their rightful place and returned home, not the graveyard, but home. My own skull was in my hand. I've spent the entire day telling the corpse of my lover that I love her, even though I have no emotions and they are just empty words.

I spent all my day living in my memories and trying to kiss the girl I loved. I spent all my day trying to go back into the past and change history. I spent my day trying to hold my lover in my hands, against my chest and try to hear her voice once more. I tried to have lunch with her, tried to watch television with her and many others.

In the end…I think I lost my mind…

* * *

**A/N: Alright, it's done. Please leave a review with what you think, feedback is very important to me right now since depending on what people think of my style for this gloomy one-shot I will or will not start writing my own original story, which I plan to have it as close as possible to a manga :P (wish I could draw, then I'd draw you guys a manga)**


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